


She Hated Goodbyes

by Gobsmacked_limbic



Series: Valhalla Green [5]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Character Death, Modern AU, Suicide Attempt, Unrequited Love, domestic AU, not graphic, precious angsty cinnamon bun too pure for this world
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-23 20:00:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7477959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gobsmacked_limbic/pseuds/Gobsmacked_limbic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Don’t say goodbye.” A hand ran through shaggy hair, nails gently scratching at the scalp in a fond fashion. “I hate goodbyes.” Those words would sit with him forever, echoing in his memory. Her face would flash behind his eyes every single time someone would utter those words in parting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	She Hated Goodbyes

**Author's Note:**

> HI! So this is my first time writing something in this universe that doesn't have North and York as the main characters but I have a lot of ideas and I'd love to know if people are interested in them. Thank you to the talented and awesome thejokeristhethief for looking over my grammar and keeping me in the know in terms of American school systems. If you're reading this then I hope you enjoy!

“Don’t say goodbye.” A hand ran through shaggy hair, nails gently scratching at the scalp in a fond fashion. “I hate goodbyes.” Those words would sit with him forever, echoing in his memory. Her face would flash behind his eyes every single time someone would utter those words in parting. 

“Psh, why so sad kid? You’ll see her tomorrow!” A bratty, blonde teenager scoffed, glaring at the three year old in the doorway.

“Carolina don’t be rude.” Allison Church warned her child, straightening up. The blonde woman was so much taller than he was, she towered over him. Her tone was strict but also somewhat mocking as if daring her fifteen year old to retaliate. Carolina groaned and leaned back against the couch, her feet still crossed underneath her even though she had been warned against it just minutes before.

“You’ll take them tomorrow then?” Epsilon looked up to his mother who stood with her hand on his shoulder. She sounded relieved as it was so hard to find someone who could look after the boys for the few hours after school until she got home.

“Sure why not, the brats didn’t cause me that much trouble.” Her smile softened as she looked back down to Epsilon. The young boy was pretty small for a three year old, his jet black hair sticking up every which way after she had ruffled it. He couldn’t hide his smile at the woman’s words, realising he could come back. “Alpha! Bring Wash up here now! His mom is here!” The marine reserve called out to her son not for the first time. He and Epsilon’s nine year old brother had been locked in his room since they got home. He swore they were doing homework but Allison knew that it was more than likely they were just playing video games.

The two women continued to chat as they waited for his brother to join them and the shy Epsilon just stared up at the two giants, not really listening.

His mom worked during the week and it was a little difficult for her to find someone willing to both pick up Epsilon from preschool and Washington from elementary. She had been recounting her woes to her old friend Allison over some drinks after the blonde came back from her latest deployment. With little to no hesitation Allison agreed to try it out, take the boys for a day and see how it went but she made no promises.

“There’s no need for money, it’s fine.” The blonde insisted, a smile on her lips but a dangerous look in her eyes that encouraged Epsilon’s mother to finally pocket the cash. “I’m at home anyway, more kids is just a challenge.” She laughed, earning a grunt from her teenage daughter who buried herself further into the couch which only Epsilon seemed to notice.

“Ah, there he is.” Wash wandered up the apartment hallway with a taller boy to his side. Alpha was thirteen, a whole ten years older than Epsilon and it showed in their height. The boy had black hair desperately in need of a trim and bright cobalt eyes. He contrasted entirely with Carolina’s blonde hair and emerald gaze. Epsilon still didn’t think they looked like siblings. He and Washington looked more similar, both of their tan faces covered in freckles and their hazel eyes speckled with an almost gold hue. Wash’s hair was different however; having been blonde when he was born it was now starting to grow a lot darker and was a muddy, dirty blonde at the moment. Other than that he really was just a taller version of his little brother.

“So can we come back?” Wash immediately questioned, hoping for an answer after their trial day. Allison had told him it was a test, if he behaved himself he would get to come back. He really hoped she’d say yes, his mom would never let him play Call of Duty at home.

“Yeah you can come back.” She grinned. Epsilon wasn’t sure why but he felt a little bit of a knot in his stomach when she rubbed his brothers hair the way she did to him. “I’ll see you both after school.” With that statement his mood lifted. He was out of school two hours before any of the other kids, with Allison picking him up it would be just the two of them for the entire time. His smile got wider even as his mother pulled him away from the door, thanking her old friend. Tomorrow was going to be awesome.

***

“I don’t understand.” The newly turned four year old quizzed three months later when it was Carolina who collected him from his last day of kindergarten. He had gotten so used to Allison being there each and every day with her hands folded or on her hips, looking so much cooler than all the other moms and guardians. He had loved their time together; however Carolina and Alpha had been around a lot more since their summer vacation started two weeks ago. Still, Epsilon hadn’t expected to find only her collecting him. “Where is she gone?”

“She’s not gone.” The fifteen year old was dragging him by his hand a little too hard but he didn’t breathe a word of discomfort, just tried hard to keep up with the blonde girl. “She’s just not here right now.” It didn’t make sense to Epsilon and he tried to wrap his head around everything. Allison hadn’t said anything about going away, about no longer being able to collect him. Carolina explained how both their mothers agreed that at fifteen she’d be able to take care of him for the day so there was no point complaining. She had her mother’s mood but was missing the hidden tenderness that Epsilon could pick up underneath any biting word.

“When is she back?” He asked, jogging alongside her as she briskly walked to their house.

“I don’t know.” She grumbled, clearly not wanting to talk about her mother’s latest deployment, especially not with her god damn four year old puppy. She didn’t have to look to know Epsilon was upset by this, he didn’t cry or moan but she knew that if she looked into those eyes she’d only see how he’d prefer her mother here instead of her. The girl's hand tightened enough to make the child wince but he didn’t object as she dragged him across the street to the Blood Gulch apartment complex.

“We’re back!” She called once they got inside the ground floor apartment. This particular one was considerably bigger than any other flat in the complex, due to the fact that their father owned the building. He easily could have housed them in a fancy estate house with a huge garden and probably even a servant or two with the money he made, but the man never liked to be far from his work. Probably why Epsilon had only seen him once.

“Oh hey.” Carolina’s brother appeared from the kitchen, wearing a wrinkled t-shirt and jeans.

“You got dressed.” She noted, finding it odd considering his determined resolution to only lay around in his underwear today.

“Dad was home.” He spoke with distain in his voice and Carolina shot him a glare. He threw his hands up, silently letting her know he didn’t want to get into an argument about how he only worked hard because he wanted what was best for them. That may help Carolina sleep at night but her younger brother wasn’t as easily fooled. “Phillis brought us lunch.”

“I suppose we can’t let you starve.” The blonde girl grumbled, turning to the child she had to mind. “Alpha you take care of Epsilon.” 

“Why do I have to?!” It only took a glare from his sister, so like their mothers, for him to shut up and he indicated for the child to follow him to the kitchen. Epsilon waited until he was sure they were out of earshot and quizzed Alpha in a low voice.

“Alpha…where’s Allison?” He asked, sitting up at the table as Alpha placed a bowl of soup in the microwave.

“Mom’s not here right now.” It was like they had rehearsed the response and the small child frowned.

“Then where is she?” He just wanted to know why she didn’t at least say she was going. He never expected a goodbye from the woman but disappearing felt so unfair.

“Why are you so obsessed with that!?” Both Alpha and Epsilon spun around to see Carolina in the doorway, her ponytail gone and her hair now a mess falling over her shoulders. “She’s not here…that’s all you need to know! Why do you even care?”

“I miss her.” The shy child spoke in barely more than a whisper and Carolina threw her eyes to the ceiling, pulling away from the door.

“Miss her…right…what’s to miss?” She grumbled.

“Carolina it’s okay for him to…”

“You stay out of this Alpha!” She snapped at her younger brother. She was sick enough of him having cried all last night over their mother leaving; scared she wouldn’t come back this time. She was sick of holding in her own fears, trying to be brave. It got harder every time their mother left them alone and as much as she admired and cared for their father, he wasn’t exactly around often. It really felt like it was just the two of them.

“Stop acting like you don’t care!” Alpha shot back, glaring. “We’re allowed to be upset…all of us…stop hiding your feelings, you’re so like mom.”

“I’m nothing like her!” Carolina placed her hands on her hips and gave Alpha a biting stare. Aside from the emerald of her eyes she could have been a younger version of her mother, even if she didn’t see it. The girl stormed off to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. The dark haired, teenage boy sighed before placing the steaming vegetable soup in front of Epsilon.

“Believe it or not but she misses her.” He told the kid, ruffling his hair in a way that just made him feel sadder.

It just wasn’t like Allison’s touch.

***

“But…I don’t want you to go.” It was evening; time for the eleven year old to go home but Epsilon wasn’t going anywhere. Seven years later and he still would come over to the Church residence after school. Carolina had been moved out for the last five years with her best friend and Alpha was at his new home with his girlfriend and his three year old kid, meaning it was just the two of them. At eleven, Epsilon’s mother told him he was old enough to go back to his own house now, but Wash was hardly ever around and he really didn’t like to be alone. Not to mention he would take any excuse to be near Allison as opposed to his own family.

“It’s not up to you kiddo.” Allison spoke to him in that firm but caring way only she could. He had caught her packing her deployment bag, alerting him to her leaving even though yet again she hadn’t said anything.

“Well…why not?!” He spoke up, still standing by the door. His tone was a little bratty but he was hurt deeply at how once more she planned to just disappear for another few months, maybe a year again. It wasn’t fair on the pre-teen and Allison just didn’t see it. The blonde woman straightened up, cracking her neck and gave him a bemused look.

“My kids don’t even get a say in whether I serve my country or not Epsilon, so neither do you.” This only enraged him further.

“Well I should!”

“Oh, you should?” She wasn’t even looking at him anymore, instead packing away her uniform with a sneer on her lips. She wasn’t taking him seriously, she never took him seriously. “And why should I give you a say?”

“Because I love you!” There it was, the moment that made her heart shrink and confirmed the thoughts that plagued her for two years now. Allison thought she was just being conceited by thinking the looks Epsilon gave her were anything more than a child’s admiration but in the end, her worries came to light.

“You don’t love me Epsilon.” She stated dryly, not even turning to look to the boy who tightened his fists at his side.

“DON’T SAY THAT IF YOU CAN’T EVEN LOOK AT ME AND SEE I’M TELLING THE TRUTH!” The eleven year old roared at the woman, causing her to immediately spin around, her gaze dangerous.

“You are a child Epsilon!” The blonde corrected him, walking over to the boy by her door, she still towered over him. “You don’t know what love is.”

“Don’t dismiss me because I’m young.” He pleaded, not able to understand why the woman didn’t feel the same way he did. His eyes were wide and there was a hint of tears there but he didn’t blink, he wouldn’t let them fall in front of her. “I’m mature for my age…”

“Yes…you are.” She agreed, ruffling his hair, trying to lighten the mood. The familiar scratch against his scalp just made things worse. “And it’s perfectly fine to have a crush but you need to know the difference and know that still won’t change things.”

“Because you won’t give them a chance to change.” He tried to reason, the woman growing increasingly frustrated as the adolescent refused to listen.

“Alright let me make this clearer…I am married Epsilon…I’m over thirty years older than you and I’m not a fool. You can try claim age is just a number but it’s not. You’re standing here asking me to break one of the laws, one of the rights I fight to protect and you’re asking me to feel something I do not.” It made no sense to the boy, how could she not feel something this strong? How could she not at least somewhat share the emotions he had been harbouring for years? “You are not in love with me.”

“Stop brushing me off! It’s not a crush!” He tried to reason, tried to have her understand. “You act like I have no right to have a say in this but I’m around more than Carolina, more than Leonard! You think he loves you like I do? He’s never here!” 

There was no slap but there may as well have been with the look Allison gave Epsilon. There was no warmth anymore, just anger. Her normally bright blue eyes looked darker with rage and she squared off against the youth.

“You need to go.” His legs suddenly felt weak, stomach sick with both genuine fear of the woman as well as guilt for his words.

“I-I’m sorry that was…”

“I said you need to go.” She repeated, tone quiet but oh so threatening. He hadn’t just stepped over the line, he had sprinted.

“Allison…”

“Goodbye, Epsilon.” More than the glare, even more than anything she had previously said or dismissed about him, that was what hurt the most.

_“Don’t say goodbye, I hate goodbyes.”_

“I said…goodbye Epsilon.” She repeated once more, reaching behind the boy to open the door. He stood in front of it for a moment, rooted to the spot. He wasn’t sure if she moved him herself or if his body found the strength but soon he found himself in the lobby of the apartment complex, the door slammed shut behind him. He had such a lump in his throat and the moment he blinked the tears came, flooding down his cheeks. His body was on autopilot as he rushed out of the building, almost slamming into someone but he didn’t stop, didn’t say a word. The youth ran the mere two blocks until he was back outside his home.

All the lights were turned off and for once he was glad no one was home as he staggered in the front door, collapsing against the wall and burying his face in his hands. He could feel his world shaking around him as he realised just how much he screwed up, having no idea what laid ahead.

***

“Leonard I’m so sorry for your loss.” His mother’s teary voice sounded distant, like he was hearing her talk while he was under water. He watched the woman bend down to the paralysed man in the wheelchair. There were so many people around, giving their sympathies to Mr. Church and his two children.

The twenty-three year old Carolina wore black trousers and a white shirt. She looked more like a waitress than someone in mourning. Her bright, orange hair that she begun dying at the age of fifteen was pulled back in a ponytail, fringe covering her right eye. People tried to sympathise with her but he was distant, hardly responding. Alpha was standing by the graveyard wall with Tex by his side and his son in his arms, a couple of good friends surrounding the mourning twenty-one year old.

No one said anything to Epsilon, no one knew how the pain he felt was every bit as bad, if not worse than what they were going through. At least that was how the eleven year old felt. 

“It’s weird.” He heard Carolina talking to some friends nearby as his mother and Leonard spoke. Carolina was standing with her best friend York who was accompanied by South. South attended Carolina’s kick boxing lessons religiously and had gotten close with her trainer. Her twin brother stood by her side despite not knowing Carolina, he was also York’s new boyfriend and wished to support the people important not only to his sister but his lover. “Dad…he wasn’t home but they had my address on record…”

“I’m sorry you were alone Carrie.” York was rubbing her shoulder and arm, earning a weak smile from the grieving female.

“Don’t be…I don’t think it would have made a difference and Alpha came over pretty much immediately.” She had been woken up at 6am by a knock on the door, just three days previous. Thinking it was someone drunkenly trying to find their own apartment, she opened the door with the intention of punching whoever it was but rather than a dishevelled neighbour, she found two marines in full uniform.

Her mother’s body arrived only yesterday and now she was already buried. She didn’t cry, not in front of people but the pain in her eyes spoke volumes. York pulled her in for a tight hug and Epsilon watched as she hugged him back, whispering a thank you.

“I’m starting to wish I knew your mom Church, with all I’m hearing about her.” Epsilon turned to see Alpha’s friend Tucker standing beside Wash near the wall where the friends collected together.

“She was really awesome.” Wash knew he was repeating a lot of people’s sentiments but it still meant a lot to Alpha. He always adored his mother, she was someone to look up to and to see so many people having come to both the synagogue and graveyard, all saying such great things about the woman he called mom, it meant a lot.

“She was.” He agreed, holding onto Michael a little tighter. Alpha’s son Caboose was only four but he was tall for his age. The boy was usually a powerhouse of activity, running around, slamming into a wall and then continuing on his way but even he was able to read the situation and remained quiet. Epsilon watched as his dad finally lowered him, unable to take holding the boy for much longer. The adult and teen made momentary eye contact and he broke away, wandering over. “You alright?”

“Aren’t I supposed to be asking you that?” Epsilon finally spoke for the first time that day. It hurt that no one really seemed to notice but he wasn’t about to make that common knowledge. No one understood his pain. 

“I’m sick of people asking me that...” Alpha looked behind to his friends and girlfriend who were chatting away. Their laughter wasn’t loud like usual but they shared the odd chuckle and smile. He felt guilty how much he wanted to be a part of it. His mother had just passed away, leaving a painful hole in his heart and a part of him felt he had to maintain that ache, that to smile and laugh so soon would be disrespectful.

“I’m fine.” Epsilon lied but it didn’t convince Alpha, he knew that tone of voice and with a soft sigh he ruffled the boy’s hair. Without thinking, the younger stood away earning a surprised look from the older man. Those blue eyes were just like hers and deep down he ached even more. “I gotta go.” He muttered, glancing away from the male and storming out. He hadn’t even told him how sorry he was, how he did understand that Alpha was hurting. In this moment all that mattered to the preteen was his own pain.

He walked out of the graveyard, passing by some unrelated people who came to see the graves of their own deceased. The young boys arms were wrapped tightly around his body and he felt tears sting his eyes.

The last thing they did was fight.

The last thing she said was goodbye.

His life couldn’t get any more miserable.

“You know you haven’t said a word to me all day.” The preteen spun around, Carolina standing close by him, her hands folded across her chest. She placed almost all her weight on her right leg, her head cocked just so. The woman looked so like her mother.

“I would have thought you were sick of all that.” He muttered, rubbing his knuckles against his eyes. The red head sauntered over, hips swinging gently as she stood alongside him, just looking out at the traffic speeding by. 

“Alpha feels guilty whenever he realises he isn’t crying…he feels like if he’s not crying then he’s not mourning enough.”

“I guess it’s different for you.” Epsilon was unable to hold back the comment and Carolina glared. She was a full thirteen years older than the child but she didn’t have the restraint her mother did.

“Yeah...yeah it is….because believe it or not, not all of us had to follow my mom around like some lovesick puppy dog!” Her words were cutting and the youth flinched a little, looking away but she moved back to his line of sight. “I never had to constantly try prove my love for my mother because no matter what she just knew. She’s not just gone this time Epsilon, she’s dead.” Carolina wasn’t screaming, her tone was quiet but there was a fury underneath every word. “And I don’t care if you couldn’t give a shit about me but you are not the only one affected by this and you are probably the least important.”

She was hurting, so much more than most would ever guess. Even her father constantly praised her for her strength in this time but that was only because he didn’t know her like their mother had, couldn’t see passed the hard exterior. Epsilon couldn’t either; he couldn’t see how what she said was a result of the suffocating pain in her chest. Instead it just felt like an attack to the child. She was being so selfish; she had no idea what her mother meant to him, no one did!

She said nothing as he shoved her aside. The woman was a martial arts expert, she could have floored him with one kick but instead she let the child rush off, heading in the direction of home. Her green glare didn’t follow him for long as she turned back to the graveyard. People were still lingering even though the burial was over with, talking about good times, about sad. Phillis wheeled her father around as countless work colleagues of his and also her mother’s stopped him to share their prayers or whatever it was they could offer. She was sick of it, all of it. She didn’t need to stand by a hole in the ground to feel near her mother, she wasn’t a child anymore who needed handholding or her father’s kind words.

Carolina had always been independent. From the time her mother began to fight in that god damn war it had been her caring after Alpha, minding the house, keeping them together while their father threw himself into his work. She stood alone even as a child, caring for others and justifying the actions of people around her but now she needed to care for herself as she left the graveyard without a goodbye to the remainder of her family.

***

It was probably ten at night when someone finally reached out to her. She suspected York or Alpha but Wash being the one outside her door, slamming against the wooden structure was the last person she expected.

“Wash? What’re…”

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry, I know you’re going through a lot right now Carolina and I wouldn’t be here if I had any other lead but…please tell me you saw Epsilon.” Confusion quickly turned to dread. The look on Wash’s face was full of desperation; his flesh was pale and his hair a mess as he gazed to her with a spark of hope in those huge, hazel eyes.

“I-I saw him at the graveyard…” She began, shaking her head. “What’s going on?”

“He’s missing…no one has seen him since then and he’s not at home and he’s not with any of his friends and I…” Wash was struggling to breathe with fear; Carolina had been his last hope.

“He looked like he was heading back to yours.” She scrambled her mind, trying to remember if he had said he was going home or not. She had just assumed that’s where his destination was. With a fleeting “thanks” the teenager made to rush off but Carolina grabbed her coat. “Wait, I’m coming to help!” Considering the elevator too slow, the two of them ran down the stairs, Washington pulling out his cell to call his mother and tell her what Carolina saw. As they rushed through the apartment lobby, the red haired woman stopped, staring to her old apartment. Her father hadn’t been home, no one had been in there all day but there was light peeking out from under the crack of the door. 

“Mom I spoke to…” Wash was stopped mid run as Carolina grabbed him by the jacket, dragging him to the door. Sure enough the spare key her mother would keep expertly hidden was nowhere to be found despite the door being locked.

“He’s in here. He has to be!” The older woman drew back before slamming the full weight of her body into the door. A second attempt, with the help of Wash broke the barricade, causing it to swing open to the sound of splitting wood.

“EPSILON?!” Wash cried out to no response, running deeper into the apartment. The living room light was on but his brother wasn’t curled up on the comfy sofa or anywhere to be seen in the space. Carolina ran towards the bedroom, only to stop by the bathroom when she noticed the light was on.

“WASH!” She screamed out, her voice high pitched and fearful, so unlike her as she sped into the small room. The woman flung herself to her knees beside the eleven year old, her hands shivering. “Epsilon? Epsilon please…” He was slumped on the ground; a bottle of her mother’s sleeping pills opened and practically empty on the ground. As she cupped his cheeks he tried to open his eyes, barely succeeding but even when he did his gaze was distant.

“EPSILON!” Wash screamed from the doorway, stumbling to their side. His hand was on Carolina’s shoulder but he didn’t pull her away or try taking her place. He simply squeezed, tears rolling down his cheeks. “Oh god...oh god!” His brother’s eyes rolled shut and the seventeen year old panicked even more. “What do we do? Carolina what do we do?!” She wanted to snap at him to shut up, she was trying to think calmly but he had every reason to be freaked out. She was surprised he wasn’t freaking out more honestly.

“Call an ambulance.” She turned to him, not even giving him a moment to react before repeating “I said call an ambulance Wash!” There was no nearby hospital. To try driving him there would be crazy, if there was even the slightest delay in traffic there was no way he would survive it. Vaguely she could hear her friend explaining the situation as best he could to the person on the other end of the line. He was standing once more, pacing as he spoke.

“It’s on its way.” His phone fell to the ground but he didn’t care, his full attention on them. Epsilon was still breathing, his eyes were shut but the sign of breath could only be a good thing. However the more Wash stared, the more paranoid he became. “Is he still breathing? It’s slowing down isn’t it? Make him throw up; it’ll get the drugs out. We need to do something!”

“He could choke if we make him vomit!” Carolina yelled back, trying to get through to him. Epsilon’s breathing was becoming shallow, more unpredictable. For moments he mightn’t breathe at all only for his chest to start moving again. “Come here…” She moved, letting the younger man replace her. “Make sure he keeps breathing just….don’t move him.” She picked up his cell from the ground and a hopeless, terrified Washington looked up to her.

“What’re you doing?” He questioned, hand over his brother’s chest, other under his head. He was definitely still breathing, a groggy groan even escaped his lips but how long would this last.

“Calling your mom.” Her stomach was in knots but as unsuitable as she felt to explain the situation, the crying mess kneeling by his brother was in a much worse way. With only one ringing tone his mother picked up. “We found him!” Carolina blurted out before she could breathe a word over the line. “He’s in bad shape just…please come to my dad’s place as soon as you can.”

***

Months after not only Allison’s burial but also Epsilon’s attempted suicide and things were as close to normal as they could be. After a stint in hospital and continuing therapy lessons the now twelve year old Epsilon seemed to be doing okay to outsiders but Washington knew better. He hadn’t acted on any impulse but since his brush with death, it still plagued the boys mind. There was more than a handful of nights that older sibling would find him awake, revealing how the desire to hurt himself had come back. He hadn’t acted on the urges, the therapy was helping him realise these thoughts could remain just thoughts and not actions, but it didn’t keep them at bay.

Their mother was the one suffering the most by it. They lived less than a block away from the Blood Gulch apartment block and the number of times she woke to find him having left the house and just sitting outside the apartments, wanting to be near it was draining her. She was struggling, not able to sleep and had started staying awake at night to be there for when her youngest son inevitably would wake up.

Her life had begun to suffer, her performance in work was failing and Wash was afraid she may even lose her job. He also knew for a fact that Epsilon was beginning to grow concerned for their mother, probably another thing that kept him up at night, kept him hating himself after his actions. To this day he carried guilt over what he put them through even though they assured him it was okay, they were still here.

Once he turned eighteen, Wash was the one presenting a solution. As his mother’s hours in work grew smaller and smaller, unable to support all three, he began to pay more and more to help that he may as well be renting his own place. So he would. 

He sat down both his brother and mom, explaining his plan and how he wanted to bring Epsilon with him. There was an estate close by, the rent wasn’t nearly as high as he would have expected and it was close enough they could see their mother practically every day. A new change of scenery might help out his brother and with only herself to support their mom should be okay. It took a little convincing, mainly for their mom who didn’t want to feel she was letting her boys down but now but now, some weeks later it looked like things could work out.

“Thanks for the help Carolina.” Wash smiled to his friend once more, taking another box out of her car; she just gave him a small smile which faded when Epsilon had come out of the house to collect something else. They hadn’t spoken a word to each other on the drive here, they hadn’t really spoken in the few months since everything happened and she thought about that a lot more than she cared to admit.

“Hey.” The red haired woman turned to the boy once Wash was inside. “About…everything I said that day….”

“Maybe we shouldn’t talk about it.” The boys voice cracked. She wasn’t sure if it was puberty or nerves but she shook her head.

“We should…I shouldn’t have said all that stuff…I was hurting and I’m sorry.” Carolina apologising probably only happened a handful of times in her entire life, the words actually made Epsilon stop in his tracks.

“You didn’t cause what happened.” He reassured her, trying to ease whatever guilt she placed on herself. “At some point or another…I probably would have done it anyway.”

“Well I didn’t help.” She looked away and unexpectedly, he touched her arm.

“I’m alive aren’t I?” The woman couldn’t stop the small smile that spread across her lips even as his hand slipped away and he grabbed a rucksack he had stuffed full of clothes. Without hesitation, the kickboxer took it from him. 

“I’ll bring that in.” She offered, walking back towards the house and leaving him alone by the car. He looked around their new neighbourhood with curiosity, taking a moment to observe his new surroundings. Their opposing neighbours had painted their house a light red, it almost looked pink in the afternoon sun. Their lawn was full of décor and it was a little gaudy for Epsilon’s taste but the old woman who more than likely lived there probably loved it. He jumped at a bang from an exhaust and looked down the street where an older man was hobbling from his porch, yelling as a tubby guy jumped out of his jeep, yelling back.

“You alright bro?” Wash walked over to the car, disrupting him from his thoughts and taking out the last two things. The eighteen year old held his own skateboard in his hand while passing his brothers to him. Taking the board, he took time with his reply. His smile was hesitant but genuine.

“I will be.”


End file.
